The struggle

Here I am contemplating how on earth I could have thought it was a good idea to put my art in a show. What if it doesn't sell? What if is DOES? 

Here's what I did today: I packaged up the three pieces for the art show and put them in the car and drove to the Penticton Art Gallery. I looked in the back seat and took a really good look at the painting sitting on top. Then I turned around in the parking lot and drove home with all three paintings still in the car. They're still in there right now. 

Why, you may ask? 

It's complicated.

A large part of it is classic rejection syndrome, I suppose. If I put three pieces of art in the sale and they all end up sitting there until I come and pick them up on the final day of the show, that means no one wanted them. My art. Me

There's also the fact that I struggle with knowing that these three pieces of art aren't my absolute favourite pieces. I see every flaw. I know every missed brush stroke and painted-over mistake. I know where I cut corners and where I could have spent more time adding detail. I don't want people to buy it because I know I can do better. 

Thirdly, I spent hours with these paintings. Each one represents a commitment of time and love and agony...a piece of me on a canvas. What if it sells and I never get to see that piece ever again? 

The bottom line is that someone out there may discover they love it more than I do, they might see something in it that I don't. They might see a piece of themselves reflected in it and want to take it home. Or not. I just don't know. Tomorrow I will take all three pieces to the Art Gallery and find out.